an ordinary life

Well Well Well, what a shitty day!!!
Stuffed if I know why I got outta bed this morning really. I dont know why but I have been in a bad mood most of the day and in tears the rest of it. Arrr gotta love pregnancy hormones I guess.
It all started...well when I woke up really, but I held it together quite well until the honey incident. Brad had honey on toast and when he was finished put the lid on the honey, I put it in the cupboard- a few hours later I go to get coffee out of the cupboard and there is thousand ants in my cupboard, yep thats right, the lid wasnt on the honey. Now I would never have thought to check that. I mean if the kids did it yeh sure I would check but Im not about to start following Brad around to make sure he does something properly.

Then my darling mother rang- she wanted me to ring the removalist and price moving boxes yep fine can do that, so I spend 1hr looking for the number and trying to get in contact with them only for her to ring me back and say oh it doesnt matter anymore I got some I knew I was getting them but just wanted a backup plan !!!!!!! No worries.

Then I read Amanda's blog- it sent shivers down my spine and put me in one of my oh my god what if that happened to me. I dont know why I worry about shit like this and I dont know thats its normal-but hey to be fair define normal...
So Every now and then I have these little freak attacks and I start to panick about what if something happened to Brad. Its not always Brad sometimes its the kids, what if somethng happened and I never got to see them again. Sometimes -rarely but sometimes its the baby, what if something goes drasticly wrong and we lost the baby, or if I died, would they cope with out me and how would Brad cope with having to give Maddi and Jake away.
But anyway todays was what if something happened to Brad, how the hell would I raise 4 kids by myself, how do I give birth to this baby without him there, how do I do anything with out him there. The only reason I do most things is so he will be proud of me (now I sound like a sad little puppy needing love) what would life be like. So thats the reason I have been in tears all day, because I know I would have to cope for the kids sake, but I really dont think I could live life like I do now. Anyway so then I tried to ring him and put my mind at ease make sure he was o, and of course he is out of town and has now flipping mobile service.

Then Jacob comes home this afternoon with blood all over his shirt, him and some other kid had a fight cos (according to the note that came home with him) Jacob was kicking the other kid, so the other kid hit him with his lunch bag and made Jacob's nose bleed. According to Jacob- the other kid was swing his lunch bag so Jacob kicked him and then the other kid hit him and made his nose bleed. I know either way Jacob shouldnt have kicked the kid, and for petes sake they are in Kindy- Do I really have to deal with this sort of stuff yet???

And then Hallie and her screaming, I swear it is impossible to do anything after 4pm with that kid around, all day she plays happily and then as soon as you try to do something- cook tea or help the kids with their homework she starts. And Maddison's aditude of late is leaving a lot to be desired.

So there you have it my shitty day! I guess on the flip side I didnt burn myself whilst cooking today- theres a plus!
Anyway now that I have depressed every poor soul who happens to stumble upon this I will go, Jamie Oliver is on and Saving Babies starts tonight. Im sure I will be able to have a good cry over that LOL